Dumb Downer Destruction

 We've all seen it, parts of trails where those with a lack of regard for both their limited skillset and proper trail etiquette have dumbed-down a singletrack into either a braided mess, or twelve foot wide abomination that even a novice ATVer could traverse with ease. One may classify this as trail sanitization, as it most certainly is, however I feel that this is far more prevalent than the misguided work of foolish individuals who tear rocks out of a slightly (or highly) technical section trail bed to suit their own lack of abilities.

Why this form of trail destruction is more prevalent would be that it takes much less effort, in fact it's most often as simple as not heeding to the basic trail etiquette tenet, "Control Your Bicycle". Those who actually control their bicycles on a singletrack stay in the tread, taking care ("care" being key) to not cut corners, blow turns, or braid the trail from the originally designed trail bed. The Dumb Downers are a horribly narcissistic lot and their misguided deeds destroy public trail resources seemingly everywhere.

 The motivations of the Dumb Downers are most likely very broad, however ego appears to be the main cause. Egotistical individuals don't like to admit they lack skill, etiquette or fitness, amongst other qualities that responsible trail users often possess. One of the most common old school rules of the trail is, "If you can't ride it, walk it.". The fragile ego of a Dumb Downer is unable to accept this age-old rule and thus will modify the trail to suit themselves, with zero regard for the public lands they are denigrating. In the case of ego-driven Appholes in this light, one person may have the (dis)ability to turn a singletrack into a truck trail width route through repetitive abuses, just to feed their ego and attain the joke status of "legend" or some other bullshit level of Appholiness. Pathetic 

 The moral of the story here (as it appears everywhere in the MTB realm) is to respect our public lands and if you don't, find another hobby. The true enthusiasts begin with respect for themselves, their (RL, not some internet garbage-bin) community, and the facilities we all are supposed to share. Remember, just because you can't navigate a portion of trail, it doesn't mean that others lack that ability. If you are a Dumb Downer, please heed the first sentence of this paragraph, or toss ego aside and LEARN. Though I've participated in an MTB lifestyle for several decades now, I refuse to stop learning and seek out trails that probably frighten egotists because pushing my bike up what I may not be able to ride cleanly today is a place where tomorrow may be the day my desire to learn gives it what for.

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate

Appholes

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." - Lao Tzu

 Lao Tzu, with confirmation that even ancient dick-measurers were scorned. I'm not sure that modern day scorn is as prevalent though because of the narcissistic hordes who are attempting to normalize this type of behavior. The abusers of digital applications who are concerned merely with measuring and have little to no regard for the trails and other trail users where they perpetrate their foul misdeeds are a problem and have been since the birth of those platforms.

 When the first app arrived and I was made aware of it, red flags immediately entered my thoughts. I had hoped that most would use it to track *their own* progress, but knew the measurers would emerge and do their worst to destroy trail surfaces and the public image of cyclists on singletrack trails. It wasn't too difficult to be prophetic and the predicted results mushroomed rapidly. I swore to never participate and denigrated both it and the trail abusing measurers whenever provided with the opportunity to do so.

 I kept doing my thing and was mindful of avoiding both the trails that the measurers frequented and/or times of day they were committing their selfish crimes against public lands. This worked most of the time, but at one particular trail system I frequented to shake down new builds, dust off Winter cobwebs, or show friends a thing or two about handling a bicycle in the dirt, the Philistines seemed to be omnipresent. These cretins began acting curiously with various transgressions, such as cutting in front of me at trail intersections, *trying* to ride my wheel and throwing shade in all kinds of kooky manners. It was as if I were an invading force and they brought it to the point where I felt that if that's what they wanted, well then I'll give it to them.

 After one day on the aforementioned trail system that had a most egregious transgression occur, I went home and signed up for the app I knew these fuckers were jerking off to. The basic ins and outs of it were studied briefly and like a coiled rattler, I waited. Not too long afterwards, the time had arrived when there was nobody else there and the conditions were just about perfect. My deevice got turned on, the app started and I just did my regular thing. The end result was not very surprising, though I knew I had a few sessions in this place where my speeds went well beyond what was recorded that day. The Mic Drop was in order and Fuck You, Appholes completed. That was about six or seven years ago now and I may have peeped those results four or five times out of curiousity.

 It's become quite easy to tell when a new trail system becomes under attack by a legion of appholes. The amount of abuse can almost be shocking, as trails that have not had time to get compacted from responsible use are much more sensitive. The skid ruts, off-trail tracks, widening, corner-cutting, braiding, and lines of inexperience being set that would be inherently slow on mature trails that appholes create in their quest for the egotistic rewards of being marked by the app as some Homeric deed is inherently ridiculous to anyone with an IQ above room temperature. Give those narcissistic types a heavy motorized vehicle that the "industry" is now selling with which to feed their fragile egos and this is compounding the threat to our public lands. Yes, *our* public lands and when the selfish feel that because they are part of *our*, they can do whatever they wish, even outside of laws and etiquette. They are commiting crimes against everyone in the communities they thrash upon.

 I did peep the app once in the past year to confirm apphole complicity in a wave of abuse on a few newer trail systems I'm familiar with. The abusers seem to be using pseudonyms or incomlete profile information, as if they are in fact knowingly fucking shit up and do not wish to be held responsible for illegal activities such as damaging public property or poaching yet to be opened trails under construction. This is how chickenshits roll, unless the definition of chickenshit has changed to suit fragile egotists. The notion of getting back on the app to tell these inhumans that they truly suck crossed my mind, but only for about a second. This may bring about something else they may desire, such as recognition or validity, but they deserve neither and that took a whole second, followed by a hearty laugh. They already know they suck, but just don't have the mental capacity, integrity, or honesty to admit it, which is the root of apphole Modus Operandi.

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate

Spotlighting

 

 The way the various forms of media influence the masses to worship those who may hold certain celebrity status in any realm creates a myriad of woes (and "Whoah!"s). The gushing, fawning, peeping, creeping, stalking, drooling foolishness takes all types of forms, from just a stupid comment, to homicidal acts. I have been guilty of the stupid comment once and it was a lesson learned. Friends called me out on it after the fact and that, along with a little restrospection told me to not be anybody's fool. I knew better and had not made any comment previously that was frowned upon. In fact, one such incident brought a kind response and genuine smile from Michael Jordan at RDU in the late Spring of 1990 while he was in the midst of others in the concourse fawning and gushing with banal and perdictable pap. Originality and Sincerity is Human and most recognize this. Even so, it's often best to give people room and only have something to say if asked. The situations that go beyond the simple stupid comment are a whole other thing, really.

 When narcissists, sociopaths, and others with mental issues take the celebrity worship too far, it gets ugly fast. Often it appears to be driven by jealousy, ego, or some other self-centered ailment, with the perpetrator wanting to somehow dominate someone who they could never hold a candle to and this is sadly true in the mountain biking realm. I've witnessed the stupid comments at events (and on the trail), as well as other weirdness from the "trying too hard to be somebody" set. They want into what their perception of the "cool kids club" is so badly, their stumbling and bumbling becomes so severe, it renders them an outcast. I've yet to hear of anything being taken too far in this light, however there's always a first time. The problem for a perpetrator of evil here is that their fitness (both mental and physical) are most likely no match for a confrontation and things will probably not end well for them. The moral of the story? Just shut the fuck up and ride your bike. If you can't handle something so delightfully simple as that, you are the problem and should find something else to feed your fragile ego.

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate

Legacies and Mountain Biking

 Everyone leaves a Legacy, no matter who they are, how long they are on this rock, or what they do with their time on it. With the Human Experience being so varied by a multitude of factors, ones Legacy can range from the bottom of the proverbial toilet, to the top of the World and all points in-between. What seems to separate the two extremes in many Legacies is the ability to realize that the bottom of the toilet stinks and distancing oneself from shit begets fresh air by simply doing good things. This doesn't particularly mean grandiose gestures or acts, but more particularly awareness of proper deportment in day to day living. It's as simple as a "Please" or "Thank You", which in practice has the ability to further a Legacy by bleeding over into the other simple aspects of daily life. Leaving a Legacy of good takes work and Legacies based on sloth don't, in which the latter attracts bottom dwellers and a close proximity to the aforementioned shitpit.

 I'd be a hypocrite if I said that my proximity to the bottom was always distant. Unless you are Mother Teresa, you've all been close to it at times as well. What separates Human Beings from Inhuman Beings is the ability to admit you've made a mistake, correct that mistake if possible, and learn from the experience in order to avoid repeating it. In the mountain biking realm, a mistake is as simple as running out of the trail bed and making a track off-trail. The mistake in this instance is not controlling your bike (Ride in Control is basic MTB etiquette), so admitting you were out of control, erasing your off-trail tracks (Leave No Trace is basic outdoors etiquette), and riding in control is the lesson learned. Leaving a Legacy of turd, the sloth will just ride on and leave the damage they've created behind, while not learning anything. Those who leave a Legacy of good will repair their damage and because most from this realm are capable of learning beyond correcting miscues, they'll learn how to navigate that section of trail in control. An interesting parallel to this actually exists in Golf. Golfers who wish to leave a Legacy of good replace their divots, whereas the sloth golfers don't. The punch line to this parallel is that irresponsible "mountain bikers" are no better than an irresponsible golfer. The question remains, what Legacy do you wish to leave on the trail?

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate

Squorx Nipple Driver Hack

 I've been building wheels for over a quarter of a century now and can usually get one ready to roll from start to finish in about 45 minutes (fresh 29er BMX trad builds above). This is using the standard j-bend spokes, nipples and flanged hubs with single wall or double wall rims. I'm no expert by any means, but the trust I've built with my work to stand up to the rigors of a Clydesdale riding the varied terrain I enjoy lends to the legitimacy of my builds.

 Enter the Squorx. I understand the concepts behind them and respect those who have embraced this technological advantage, especially in regards to professionals who depend on the time factor. With proven tools and methods, wheelbuilders trained properly can turn out quality in a fraction of the time traditional wheelbuilding normally does. Since I have plenty of time and no desire to delve into modern wheelbuilding beyond the two mountain bikes I own, investing in the tools and methods does not interest me.

 The hack was borne from a trip to the hardware store, where my intent was to purchase a Torx T20 bolt to modify as a driver. This particular hardware store has all of their T20 driven hardware in sealed containers, so checking fitment was impossible without being a turd and breaking a package open. However, right next to the Torx bolts/screws were drywall screws/sinks and it hit me. Those sinks are plastic and a heated Squorx would melt right into it and create a driver. Knowing I have a few at home, I bailed from the store empty-handed. Upon arriving home and opening the utility odds/ends drawer, the first thing I spied that was plastic was an old ballpoint pen. After clipping the clicking end off and stripping the internals, I spun a Squorx onto an old spoke, heated the Squorx and slowly pressed the pointy end of the pen shell onto it. As the plastic cooled, it was pressed gently to mold the T20 shape internally. After cooling, the Squorx was removed and the plastic filed relatively smooth. Easy Peasy

 While this device is no means a professional driver, it will allow me to get the Squorx and accociated washers threaded onto the spokes and then finish the build traditionally from there. The Case is Solved

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate 

MTB Saddle Down Full Ride

 Way back in the day, I didn't mess with saddle height in any situations. It didn't matter to me most of the time, so "set it and forget it" reigned supreme in my world. This remained so until sometime just after the turn of the century in Durango. A friend and I set about upon Haflin Canyon and at the top, my saddle finally got dropped for a descent. The revelation that followed enhanced my freakishness on two wheels exponentially, another quantum leap. 

 Since I was singlespeeding on the regular by this time, an article that had been published in print suggested doing occasional saddle down full rides. This especially made sense for 1x1 because I was standing for most climbing anyway. The revelations within this realm of saddle down were even greater, especially with having it out of the way on climbs that required extra manuevering. Being able to contort and even using the lowered saddle as a guide when ascending turns at speed added much more benefit than even the strength obtained.

 Fast forward to present and unless I'm on a lengthy a-technical climb, the saddle stays down. This is true for both of my Mountain Bikes, rigid SS and FS. A good friend and bike shop owner once told me that dropper posts are a "game changer" and suggested I get on board with them. While this may be true for most, it's wholly untrue to me for several reasons and the biggest being that I'm already used to my modus operandi and don't mind stopping to adjust a seatpost manually on occasion. The skills that have been added to my Magic Bag of Tricks are irrevocable and ever-expanding. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

 If one is considering an attempt at this, I have only one piece of advice, take your time. In this day and age of people trying to sell the "one size fits all" advice, I'm here to say that is 100% bullshit. This and other suggestions in improving one's skillsets may or may not work for everyone. Even so, taking your time will benefit you in at least two ways. One is that if it's something contrary to you and what you wish to accomplish, you will lessen any chance of injury and not waste too much of your time. Second, if it does work and you heed personal limitations, it will be much more enjoyable to the point where you look forward to the challenge.

Now go ride your bike!

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate

The Secret of The Surly Jethro Tule

 The official uses of the Surly Jethro Tule are 15mm Box Wrench, Bottle Opener and Keychain. Some reviews tend to nit-pick the wrench for not providing enough leverage, but the design appears to not have been utilized properly in these instances. The two sided wrench and spoon shape are purposeful leverage partners in tightening or loosening axle nuts. The spoon makes using ones shod foot and body weight possible to obtain massive amounts of torque, while the two sides of the wrench permit both tightening or loosening an axle nut. This is where the Surly Jethro Tule's abilities seem to end.

 The opener side of the spoon is divided into three sections, which appears to be a weight savings by design, however it goes beyond that. When I asked one of those responsible for this handy device about the weight savings being somewhat minimal, they laughed and produced their own personal version. From the very end of the spoon, they had drilled a hole through the spine under the bottle opener to the weight savings cutout on the head side. From there, I didn't need to use my imagination and kept it under wraps for many years.

 Fast-Forward to Colorado Prop 64's passing and I began considering the novelty of the modification. After a couple of years in, a friend passed through who has been a machinist since we were in high school. I broke out my Jethro Tule and asked if he could hook it up with the modification I was shown. He agreed to and took it with him, sending it back with a perfect job, including stepping the hole on the wrench head side down to eliminate debris intake. While its capacity and length in this mode of operation may leave something to be desired, it works in a pinch, just as the rest of its functions were designed to do.

Piece ✌️ Out

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate