The Barge

 Bargers Gonna Barge, as this deviant did off-road in Death Valley National Park. It seems fitting that they have a tailgate pad for shuttling bicycles, which does not leave me wondering how they most likely conduct themselves whilst astride their mountain bikes. There are many forms of the barge in the mountain bike realm and all of them have one thing in common, they are perpetrated by uncaring egotists.

 The Trailhead Barges also takes on many forms, the most common being the overbearingly loud music barge. Irregardless of what the barger is listening to, who gives a flying fuck what you listen to get pumped up for a ride? Headphones were made for a reason, to prevent others from having to listen to Kenny G at the trailhead. A more peculiar trailhead barge is the dipshit who parks right up on your vehicle in an otherwise empty parking lot. I've had to move my vehicle to be able to load bikes on several occasions such as this. We could also add the trailhead lot speeders and Mickey Thompson wannabes, raising dust clouds for everyone to choke on as their clapped-out Subaru coughs and sputters through it all. Sad

 On the trail, the most egregious barge to Riders IMO is the "taking a break and as others approach going the same direction, jumping back on the bike and taking off" syndrome. This is most often accomplished by subpar mountain bikers who believe their own bullshit. They also tend to not yield to Riders that they have jumped out on who wish to pass, unless vociferously commanded to do so. The most obvious barge is those who don't comprehend and/or just ignore the basics of yielding the trail properly. These booger-eaters barge on everyone and anyone, most often habitually. Though there are several other on-trail barges, such as cutting corners and other craptastic trail-widening kook maneuvers, one other is worth special mention. It's akin to the yielding issues, however is largely based on misogyny. Many littledick male mountain bikers will not allow their fragile egos be "bested" by female Riders. I've witnessed this many times over the years and have had to call perpetrators out for it several times. Of course this is a case where someone who believes their own bullshit, basing their misdeed solely on the gender of the Rider who wishes to pass. Again, Sad

 The Localism Barge is the most odd to me. It reeks of ineptitude in most cases I've witnessed, whereas those who commit these acts of idiocy seemingly wish to convey some demented version of "I'll show them!" In one place I previously frequented to shakedown builds, tune up some skills, show friends a few tricks, or just take some turns at speed, the "locals" committed barges almost every time I was there. The most amusing to me was when they tried to jump on my wheel and were left choking on dust. It became so bad, I joined an app just to let them know how truly lame they are. The practitioners of this particular barge rarely stray from the comfort of their realm and in the quest to rule their pissant domain, shall forever be condemned to mediocrity at best. Yeah, Sad

Riders Come and Go, Kooks Accumulate